what would you do if you had a middle school child who was being picked on? for whatever reason. say your child was goofy or slow. or say your child was "talking to" another young girl's boyfriend? what would you tell your child if they are getting phone calls at home from people saying they want to beat them up? what if your child was being cornered in the hallways at school? having rumors spread about them? being taunted into a fight? what would you do?
tell your child to tell a teacher?
tell her to walk away?
call the other child's parent?
done. done. and done.
then what? i'm really at a loss here folks. maybe i'm just tired and in a depressed mood but i'm really not sure. the parents say, "what would you tell your child, ms. reid?" and i don't know what to say. i'm not going to tell them to fight. because i truly believe that violence breeds more violence. not to mention it gets your child in trouble too. but how do you get your child to stand up for him/herself without being a tattletale and without being a bully?
"it's possible. but it ain't easy," i say.
1 comment:
katie,
i've decided that instead of having cool rituals to determine when a girl enters womanhood, modern american culture has middle school.
i was never more miserable than i was in middle school and i look back on those days with a firy angry passion. i still think about all the things i "should" have done to those girls. in most plottings i plan to hit them where it would hurt the most - in their cosmetic bag. but alas, despite my now assertive nature, i was not that woman when i was a girl in middle school and i'm convinced that those girls made me who i am today. at least the walk-all-over-me-and-die part of me.
i too had teachers calling my home in the evenings, asking my mother if i was okay, telling her it would be alright, and that they were watching out for me.
what boosted my confidence was my mother (a complete non-sue-er) telling me that if anything happened, she'd go to bat with me and for me, in any and every way possible, including into the court room if necessary.
the only solution for me was to wait out the next two and a half years and go to high school. things improved then, just because it was a bigger pond, but guidance counselors in my neighborhood were policemen first, college admissions helpers waaaay last.
so i left home at 15.
mom and i have a theory that no middle school should be co-ed. yes, girls would still have their petty issues, but at least they wouldn't get as much fuel or positive reinforcement from their male peers.
i say, have recess through 10th grade, prepare girls to leave home at 15, shorten high school by two years, and turn young adults into the adults the world needs them to be.
God bless your work katie, sometimes the only answer is: "it's possible, but it ain't easy."
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